Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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