I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize