shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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