So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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