Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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