you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize