What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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