i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
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I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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