I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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