How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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