Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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