Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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