god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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