Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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