why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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