I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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