Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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