you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize