Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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