I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize