that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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