my sisters under your porch take her home
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize