Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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