just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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