the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize