Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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