you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize