Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
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I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
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I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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