3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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