The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
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We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
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He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Let's get the cat blown out
I have aggressive nipples.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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