thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Betty ford says i'm here all night
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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