When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize