I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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