I should be sponsored by Trojan
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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