I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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