Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
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Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
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Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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