Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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