I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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