Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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