At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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