dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize