Whod you bang
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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