FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize