You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize