I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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