I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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