In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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