guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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