I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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