If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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